"Dating" a married/committed man??

Hello my lovelies,

Relationship doctor is feeling very nice today and thought to bring you another blog today. This time, addressing the ladies who are bold enough to date a man who already got a woman. Beware, that this blog contains somewhat strong language and some other shocking things. This topic is very dear to Relationship Doctor's heart.

Dating a committed or married man? This is something I have never done because my man cheating on me is my worst fear, so I have never ever though of getting involved with someone who was in a relationship. I have some friends who do enjoy such wickedness. Rachel likes Ben and Ben has a girl friend. However, Rachel doesn't hesitate to pursue a "relationship" with him. How stupid! If a man has a girl friend and he is "dating" you, do not deceive yourself ladies. You are the other woman. The person he goes to for pleasure and that is it. You have cheapened yourself to an ultimate low. Why do you think this man would leave his girl friend for you? And if he does, I assure you he would do the same thing to you. And you better not complain. What goes around comes around, and it will bite you in the ass a hundred times harder. Girls that feel the need to chase after married/committed men are nothing but trifling, conniving, needy, heartless, stupid ass BITCHES!! Yes, I said it and that is what you are. And all he is doing is using you and before you know it, you will be DUMPED!! And for those of you, who not only chase after taken men, but chase your friend's men. Any woman who feels the need to lust after her friend's man is NOT a woman and you are not a man or a dog. You are a demonic creature hidden in a woman's exterior. And guess what? No man will ever take you seriously. Believe that!! I'm sure you think I am mean but believe me, I am a very nice lady. I just do not entertain foolery and nonsense!! If a girl I knew tried to steal my man, I promise you that would be the last thing she does. She would be shot dead!! Don't try me!! Don't even attempt to. I am very passionate about this issue. And I do not take BS from anyone, and I most definitely will not take such nonsense from a "friend". 

If you are lucky enough to meet a man who marries you, that man will be taken from you. You will not know peace in your relationship or marriage. Because, you haunted other women and now it is your turn, to receive. 

"I can never take the other woman seriously"....This is a quote from not one but several men. Ladies, do the math. Do not chase after a man that's taken because he will never take you seriously. If you don't like him and you are just doing it for shallow or materialistic reasons, then good luck to you. When it is time for you to settle down and find your own man, I wonder how many good men would look twice at you.

Note: Go after my man, and you will end up 6 feet under, and that's me being nice. 

Change your ways Bitches

Ciao 

xxx

This is for the single ladies and gentlemen!!

I'm at this stage where a lot of my friends are talking about marriage, marriage and more marriage. It's a bit frustrating sometimes but I guess we are at the point where we really should be thinking about marriage, after all, it only is a few years away. I've also got another bunch of friends who think nothing about marriage or about the near future. 

Many young people are unaware that the decisions we make right now will determine our fates in a couple of years. Your choice of Uni, your final degree classification, where you work, the friends you keep, the people you date/dated, the amount of people you have dated and so on.

I have a brother and many male cousins and I know the amount of scrutiny their female choices get. Once I hear that the lady in question is a bit too popular with the boys, I immediately inform my cousin to disconnect all ties with her. And this is what we all would go through in a few years I believe. I would not want to eat the meat that I have watched so many people nibble on. No, that's growse. And I believe it's this same principle most men apply when looking for a wife. I have spoken to many men and women and I've come up with a few theories.

Men, please do NOT date the following women. Ladies, if you fall into these categories, please change!!

1. She's dated so many people you know. It's hard for a man to picture a future with a lady he knows has been around the block. It's just a turn off. Your woman is supposed to be your pride and joy, but when she's on your arm and you walk into a room and more than one other person in that little room has been with her, it's such a difficult thing to bear. Most guys after that, lose any interest in planning a future with you.

2. Women who jump from one relationship to the next, with no time in between. I always tell my cousins to be wary of women who always seem to be in relationships. I don't think it is physically possible to date someone for a long time, and two weeks after splitting up, you find a new beau. I think that women who do this are very needy and why can't you stand on your own two feet for a change? Do you need a man to complete you? There definitely is a problem with you. And how can you get over someone so quick? Men, I assure you that while you are with a woman who falls into this category, she definitely has other men lurking around as "Back-up", incase things don't work out between you two.

3. If she gives it up to soon. This is something that a lot of responsible men agreed with. If a lady lets you get so physically intimate with her even before you are official, there's no need to pursue a relationship with her. This is one mistake ladies make all the time. You like him, he likes you and so you feel it is necessary to let things escalate physically even before you have established your relationship status. How smart. You've just made it easier for him. Ken met Linda and they liked each other. He wasn't sure if he wanted to pursue a serious relationship with her or not. Before he made up his mind, Linda slept with him. And that was it for him. He didn't need to do more. He already got to the top of the mountain without any effort. He said that, if it was so easy for her to let him that close in such a short while, she must be like this with all other guys, and he couldn't begin to imagine how many other men she had been with. He can't bear the thought of calling someone who doesn't value herself, his girl friend/wife. Ken said that between the ages of 17 and 24 (give or take 3 years), men are at this stage where all they want is intimacy and they would do all sorts to achieve that, even making someone they don't really care about, their "girl friend". He said that he could have made Linda his girl friend, but he already achieved that intimacy without that, so there was no need. 

So, ladies before you get physically intimate with someone, get to know them very well,establish a proper relationship and then you can consider that. Otherwise, there's no chase for him and you've cheapened yourself. I've heard lame excuses from girls as to why they do this. Please please, you don't use physically intimacy to "secure" or "seal" a relationship. Stop deceiving yourself girl.

So, men please run away from such women because I've got loads and  loads of young, responsible, respectable women that you would be proud to know. And there are many more out there. 

Ladies, if you are not ready for marriage, do not jump from man to man or bed to bed. You are reducing your bride price. If you continue this way, there may not be a need for a bride price because you would be left on the shelf. If you have any hopes of being married to a nice responsible man, act responsible and do not cheapen yourself. If you find that you are already guilty of this, stop now and repent. Change your old ways. People may never forget what you did in the past, or who you did but if you stay away from the lime light and make wise choices, even those who hate you may admit that you have changed. This could increase your chances of getting hitched. If you know that the man you like, isn't good for you or isn't someone you could take home to the parents, ditch him and move on. Do not waste your time, effort and emotions on him. You would further reduce your bride price and add another person to your ever growing list of exes. Wait and wait, keep waiting even if it takes 50 years. Just keep waiting for that special man that will make an honest woman of you. You do not need a man to complete you while you are waiting, so enjoy your youth, because very soon, it will be over. 

Do you agree or disagree?

Tell the Relationship Doctor what you think.

Ciao 

xxx

Introducing Natalie

She was clubbing in Hollywood with her brother and his friends when the dj stopped the music and called out the registration number of her BMW. She goes out to where she parked it. Right in front of the club. And she asks the Security, what the problem is and she is told that the owner of the club, parks his car there usually and she needs to move it. She is outraged. As she gets into the car, the suavest guy she has ever set her eyes upon says to security "Take the keys and park it, and bring it to me when you are done". She immediately realizes that this fine ass man owns the club. She wants to say something to him but before she can, he notices her in the corner of his eye and looks like he's seen a ghost! I wander why he looks stunned. Well the feeling is mutual, he has never seen anything look so beautiful and perfect, so innocent but yet so so sexy. He asks the security man, to look for somewhere else to park the car and when the night is over, he should bring the car back. He then looks at Natalie and introduces himself. "Hi, I'm Jay, you don't need to move your car". 

Natalie smiles, gets out of the car, shuts the door and walks away. 

At this point, Jay is intrigued! He goes up to her and apologizes for the little inconvenience he caused and asks for a name. Introduction over. Here are the facts:

Nat is over on holiday from London. She's only 17, about to start upper sixth. She drives that Beamer because her dad brings a new meaning to RICH!! Jay is a 21 year old driven guy with a degree in Business Management, which he copped a year ago. He owns the club and has several others developing as well as a growing chain of restaurants in Hollywood. Basically, to keep things short, he is MADE!!

One thing leads to another and she is spending the rest of her stay in holiday being wined and dined by this rich bachelor. At the end of it, they are dating and he escorts her back to England. He stays for a week to meet her parents and returns to Hollywood.

Is that the last we hear from Jay? No? He sends her a first class ticket to see him every other weekend and he makes it his duty to visit her in London one week a month. Do, the math baby. They see each other three weekends a month. 

This relationship keeps growing stronger and stronger. Nat, passes her A levels and has an offer from a University. She is sorted!! Jay, has launched several clubs in Hollywood and Miami, he's also opened a chain of restaurants. Everything is going well for them. They see each other often and they love each other.

Nat seems to be the perfect girl and Jay is even more perfect. They met in July 2006. Fast forward to 2010. Do you think they are still together? What's been going on for the last 31/2 years? Find out soon..... When Natalie returns

Ciao

xxx

You are the trophy and he is just another athlete in the race.

Many of my friends are in serious relationships yet many are very much single. Some are so single that they've never had boy friends. Yes, I too find it very intriguing. And a small fraction of my friends have a ring on their finger, while some have already bitten the bullet. I know many single girls who actually pray for a boy friend and it really does make me laugh. Is a man some sort of accessory or necessity? Or a life support machine? I'm not sure these days. When I was single, I always got the "Do you have a boyfriend". When I say no, it's followed by a "Why not"? Now, I know that some lame ass men use this line to lure you into a conversation convincing you that they are God's gift to the female species. BUT when a lady says WHY? It really makes my blood boil. Is a boy friend like a degree or a bra? 

Why are women so needy? Why do girls hate being single, so bad? They go to all lengths to meet men, and play all sorts of games and do all sorts of ridiculous things in attempt to bag a man. I need to share some of the most pathetic things I've come across. Emma and I went out to a bar. Some male figures were misbehaving and acting extremely improper. She spent the whole morning after the outing, insulting this particular individual-Joe. He happened to be 1. One of the guys misbehaving, 2. A friend of mine. A few hours later, Emma heads back home and I log into Facebook and on my news feed, I see- Emma and Joe are now friends. It's very clear to me that she added him. A few weeks on, she's sending me messages about how they have been seeing each other but it isn't official. Bear in mind that Joe has a girl friend and he's interested in two of my other friends. I give her the bad news but I later find out she's still ON IT like a bonnet!! How desperate can you get? You see someone, and then add them on Facebook and you start sending him messages? You call yourself a woman? If a man did this, I wouldn't be surprised but I would not tolerate or even entertain such nonsense from a man, how much more you a lady? No wonder the guy could not commit to you!

Another thing that makes my skin crawl is when single girls are persistently asking you to hook them up with someone. Not, just you but the whole of their Facebook, your Facebook, your grand mother's twitter knows that she is desperately looking for a man. Why? What sort of foolishness and desperateness is that? Do you think a man will sought after you if he knows the amount of time and effort you are spending on trying to get a man? It is such an unattractive quality.

Why do women behave like this? Do you need a man to complete you? Of course not! One thing, I have slowly but eventually learned in this life is that WOMEN are the prize. Back in my younger days, my single friends and I would discuss tactics to find a boy friend. It's sounds so sad and silly when I think back but we always wanted to possess a man. It was like a chase, and when we got him, we were happy! Satisfied and felt accomplished!! WHY? Ladies, it is the other way round. It should be. That guy you like is just another athlete in the race. And guess what? The trophy is YOU darling!! So, do not go about chasing and scrambling all corners of the earth for a man. YOU are the trophy, you are the prize, the diamond in the rough. And any man out there, is just another athlete in the race that should do his best to win the race. Now, your duty as the trophy is to sit there, look good, carry yourself with so much confidence and poise, and reflect that outer beauty on the inside. Show that gold is not just on the exterior, it goes right through you. You are smart, you are extremely talented, you are funny, and you have the degree to prove your intelligence. Obviously, nobody is going to race for a trophy that they can't see. So, while you shouldn't go chasing after men, do not hide yourself in your wardrobe. We need to see this personality and wittiness you possess. Socialize more, go out with the girls more often. Meet new people at work, Uni, at a bar, at Church, where ever you go, keep a smile on your face, look approachable, presentable and hold a good conversation at all times. Baby girl, those men will be reeling in, in no time. 

Remember, you are the Trophy and he is just another athlete in the race.

Ciao 

xxx

UPDATES

Hello my lovelies,

Just a quick one to keep you in check.

I do realise I haven't specifically addressed the singles out there neither have I addressed the men. So, my next few posts will specifically be directed towards these people.

I am also going to introduce a character of mine to you. She goes by the name of Natalie..

Don't forget, to drop me all your questions, suggestions and objections. 

 

Follow me and share this blog with everyone you know.

Bye my dears

Ciao

xxx

SIX ways to know if your man is in love with you

Relationship doctor brought you "5 ways to keep your man FOREVER". Now, just to be sure that things are in check, Relationship Doctor is giving you more. 6 ways to know if he is really into you. Let's go ladies.

1. When you're sleeping, and you just happen to wake up, he is staring at you. If he can just lie there and watch you sleep, 9 times out of 10, that's a tell tale sign that he is in love with you. You know that feeling when you buy something new and it's sitting still, and you just look at it like My God, I love this new bag. You're in awe that you could own such a glorious item. Guess what ladies? It's the same thing men do when they watch you sleep. 

2. When he looks into your eyes, he sees a future with you. Everything about his future involves you. Whatever plans he makes, involves You!! He already talks to you about the future, he has mentioned marriage many times, and he sees himself with you in the very far future. That is love and commitment mamas.

3. He has introduced you to everyone under the sun. Everyone in his family, his friends, his pets, his work colleagues, everyone knows who you are. Even if, they haven't met you YET, they have heard so much about you from him. A friend of mine- Tyra, had been with her man- Seb for a long time. It was her birthday and her family members and friends were present. I noticed she hadn't introduced Seb to the family and I asked why and she said she wouldn't like to introduce him to the parents and a few months later, they are not together anymore. Do you know what I'm getting at here? Even though she was with Seb for so long, she knew that there was no future. Seb was NOT in Tyra's future and therefore, she wasn't going to waste her time and effort introducing him to her family when she knew he would never be a part of her family. Men follow this same pattern. If the person is not going to be there in the future, why waste time introducing them to the family? So, if your man has introduced you to all his friends, brothers, sisters, parents and everyone else in between, girl, you got yourself a winner!

4. When he leaves you, he misses you immediately. You know he's just left your house, but he's already calling you and sending you sweet messages, telling you how much he misses you and can't wait to see you. That is love!!

5. When you are so sick and you can't even move, he comes over and attends to your every need. That is very important. Us ladies, don't even do this for our girl friends sometimes, so when your man is so concerned when you're ill and he's there right away, taking care of you, you know he loves you girl.

6. Finally, this is the Killer!! This is how you differentiate between if he is really in love with you or if you're just a jump off. When you are on your period and you can't get physically intimate with your man, he still wants to come over. Ladies, you know how we are when it's that time of the month. We get moody, crazy and we are seriously PMSing. If your man is man enough to ignore all these things and he still wants to come over, see you and spend some time with you, you know he is madly in love with you.

(Let me know what you think ladies and men too. This is from real men and many women agreed with it. If you got anything to add, please do.)

Note: All the characters I use in my blog are actually real people, but for confidentiality and anonymity, their names are changed. 

UPDATES

Just a quick one people!!

Just to let you know that I love writing these blogs and I enjoy the numerous questions, suggestions and objections! 

So, please leave a comment about anything at all. If you need relationship advice, or you would like me to cover a particular topic, please do let me know. 

Note: All the characters I use in my blog are actually real people, but for confidentiality and anonymity, their names are changed. 

Anything whatsoever,

Relationship Doctor is here to improve your 2010!!

Ciao 

Getting too comfortable????

This relates to my blog on "5 ways to keep your man forever". The last item on the list was- How he met you is how he wants to keep you. I would like to discuss this in more details.

Monica had been with her man 4 years when she discovered that for the last 2 years of their "blissful" relationship, Chandler had been seeing another woman. The man she had worked hard to get and keep, had been cheating on her all this time and she didn't know it? Wow!! This is a subject that scares me because believe it or not, I have NEVER had the experience of a cheating boy friend. And I pray I never will. I don't know if this is just a coincidence, or if I have been doing the right things. Who knows? But yes, Chandler had been cheating on Monica for the past two years. She found out and she obviously left him.

I was talking to my man the other day when I recalled the story. And I said to him WHY? This is what my man said "After two years, she probably got too comfortable. She obviously thought, they were going to get married and she had her man and therefore she didn't need to do any thing else". Trey, said to me that this is usually the case. And then I asked him, what is getting too comfortable?

1. Not making an effort anymore. Your make up bag hasn't been opened in years, you do not dress up for your man anymore, you have chucked the heels and resorted to nike trainers, your hair always is a hot mess. All, he can hold on to is memories of you when you first met. Girls, as much as we hate to admit, human beings are all somewhat shallow. Men especially. They work with visuals and you have to stimulate their minds through their eyes. Give him something good/exciting to look at. Referring back to my other blog, How he met you is indeed how he wants to keep you. Don't let yourself go because you think you've bagged him. Eat right, exercise to keep your mind and body in shape and form. When you are out, put on your make up, get your hair did, get out those red hot heels, your tiny black dress. Make him smile with excitement when he sees you. Show him that you still got IT!! All those things, he said he liked when he met you, don't neglect them. Act like everyday with him, is your first date. Because men notice all these things, the other night, I was complaining to my man that he doesn't pay me any compliments and he told me that, if he didn't find me attractive, he would not be here. He said he notices everything from my nails, to my hair to my eye brows. I was shocked, because he isn't vocal about these things. And he once said that every time he sees me, I look good, even without my make up. So, yes ladies. Whenever I see my man, I put in the extra effort, to look good. You should too. Let's start from the top. Your hair, should be done up nicely. It should look, feel and smell nice. Your face should be well taken care of. Put on a bit of make up, look natural but glorious. Make sure your eye brows are shaped up nicely. Clean the wax out of your ears and make sure you brush your teeth very well, we don't want no stains, floss and use a very good mouthwash. Always keep your breath in check. Underwear must always be clean. Make sure it smells fresh, looks sexy and feels even sexier. Ladies, if your underwear comes off, please please, make sure you are clean shaven under your arms, your feminine area, and your legs. Your finger nails and toe nails, should be clean, fresh and painted nicely. Lotion all of your body and keep the whole body toned and looking beautiful. And, on top of it all, slip into somethings comfortable but sexy and show your man that he's got the best diamond out there. 

2) When you met him, the first kiss was nice, slow and then it grew to being lovely, passionate, wild and then you explored other avenues. You are here today because God put your parents together, they became one and had you. But before this, they had sex. Sex is an evolutionary behaviour. We do this in order to procreate. But while you are not married, the motive of sex is for intimacy, closeness, pleasure and satisfaction. Some, choose to indulge, others don't. When you are with someone, you share personal things with them that you don't share with anyone else. Be it, emotionally or physically. It is a normal thing to be attracted to your partner and to act on it. Kissing, holding, cuddling, fondling and so on. When you first meet, your physical relationship with your man is mind blowing, it's exciting, it's fresh and something new every time. Many people dread getting married because they can't imagine being intimate with just one person for the rest of their lives. It is a crazy thing to fathom. Many believe it is silly, they regards it as a deprivation experiment and they can't deal with the boredom. My point here is, after 6 months of being with your man, you think you've done it all and you go into repeat mode. Your physical relationship becomes monotonous. You are not as involved as you used to. You become very idle and take on a lazy approach. It is this behaviour that makes men dread the thought of being married. After all, you've only been together 6 months and the physical intimacy is already that boring. You bore him. How do you expect him, to now picture a marriage with you? You need to keep him active, happy. You need to keep him jolly. Try new things every time, even if it is just a different way of kissing, keep it interesting. You don't have discussions about the same thing every day do you? So, why are you letting your physical relationship suffer this fate? Satisfy your man, give him more than enough. So, he has no drive left to wander outside even if his life depended on it. Keep things interesting, exciting and fun in the bedroom. ALWAYS do this!! Surprise him all the time with new underwear, new suggestions and other things. Don't become a lazy old woman. It will keep your chemistry going and it will keep you guys closer as a couple and besides it is healthy. The way his heart used to pace when you first kissed, is the way it should beat in anticipation when you are about to get intimate.

So, ladies that's it. Those are the two things Trey regards as getting too comfortable, which in turn can lead your man astray. Shallow? Yes, I thought so but guess what? Men don't cheat because they are looking for a good mind or an intellectual person to discuss with, NO!! They cheat for shallow reasons most of the time, so there it is ladies. Use these tools wisely.

Note: All the characters I use in my blog are actually real people, but for confidentiality and anonymity, their names are changed. 

Any questions, stories or suggestions... Please feel free to leave a comment

Ciao

xx

Independent woman

Hello lovelies,

My previous post got me a bit angry you know? I really got emotional when I got to the end.

Number 4 was about being an independent woman. having your own life, your own friends and your own money!! 

Let's tackle the 2nd. Yes, we've all had that friend who, meets this new guy and all of a sudden we do not exist again. They disappear into thin air and neglect everyone. In her world, only him exists. Now, this happens a lot. You're trying to get to know someone, you're overwhelmed by everything and so you shut everyone out. I understand, because I have done it as well. You should NOT do this, and do not entertain such behaviour from your girl friends either. When you meet a new guy, you feel pressured to rush everything and get to know him in 2 minutes. That's one of the mistakes I made with my man. From the day we met, we saw each other EVERY DAY!! YES, I mean it! This gave no room for friendship or real bonding. If you meet a guy, you like him, no problem. He asks you on the first date, go and wait for sometime to meet him again. Wait till he asks you and make sure you get a breather in between, dates. So, you can still hang out with your friends and tell them what every date is like. This way, you also get to know them better but slower, which is good in the long run. And, you do not make your friends feel like you're shutting them out. When you feel, the introduction process is over, introduce him to your friends, hang out with the man and your friends, so they feel sort of "involved" in a good way. And always keep it like that. There are some weekends you wanna chill with him, let your girls know in advance that you will be with him that weekend. And make up for it, before and after- by giving them all the juicy details over mojitos. NEVER disappear with him. Always let them know, and because you still spend time with them and because they've hung out with him, they would be awfully pleased. 

Remember, always keep things in check. Boy friend time, time with the girl friends and time with BOTH!!

The other thing I wish to address is having your own money. This is the most annoying thing for me in relationships. I have one particular friend that is so guilty of this. She can never ever take her man out. She, always expects him to pay for everything. It is so sad. Some girls look up to men as an outlet for pocket money and this is ridiculous. It is so disgusting and I just shake my head in disappointment. I have not been brought up to believe in such BS!! The latest craze is asking your man to buy you HAIR??? And designer bags! WOW! Can girls get any cheaper? I can't deny that, I do love to be spoilt but I do NOT expect my man to do this all the time. Sometimes, I take my man out and pay for everything. I do that!! I do not ask or expect him to give me money or any material thing. That is downright cheap. When it is my birthday, Valentines Day, our anniversary, Christmas, I expect him to spoil me like he is Santa and I'm the cutest kid on the block. Yes, I do expect him to pay for our dates but at least 3 out of 10 times, I feel I should get the bill. I come from a background of strong and Independent women, so expect nothing less. If not for, me wanting him to retain his role as the man in our relationship, I could get the bill 10 out of 10 times. 

My independence helps my relationship so much because my man knows I love him and I am not in it for the wrong reasons and he knows that I am not moved by material things. So, he trusts me a lot. If you have a materialistic girl friend, trust me guys, you are not the only one spoiling her. I have witnessed my friends collecting cash from different men so they can buy silly things. These girls have boy friends but, for the greed in their heart and their inability to stand on their own two feet as strong independent women, they trick all sorts of men to give them. Yes guys, I wander what they do for these men in return for the money. I wander!!

Ladies, for a change, treat your man. Take him to dinner, get the bill, go for drinks, get the bill. Spend a day at the spa and pay for it. SHOCK him and TREAT him.

Guys, if you find that you happened to end up with a not so independent lady, give her a chance to change your view. Drop subtle cues about how independent women turn you on. E.g, Travis took his girl friend to this expensive restaurant for a five course meal and when he went to the loo and back, she already got the bill and paid. Wow, Trav is a lucky man. If she doesn't get it. Discuss it with her, tell her that you would also like to be treated sometimes. If she still doesn't fix up, take her out less, much less. Lol. If you find, she's a completely reliant and dependent girl, dump her ass and find you a reaaal woman. I can help you. In the near future, I will be setting up a free match making service. 

Five ways to keep your man..............FOREVER!!!

Yes girls, if your mama won't tell you and your jealous ass girl friends won't tell you....

Relationship doctor is always here for you.

Now, these are the 5 things I have collated by speaking to men, women etc

1. Always wear HEELS!! Yes, girls whenever you see your man, get out those red hot 6 inch heels and pop them on!! Your man loves the way you strut from side to side and that great amount of sex appeal and confidence it adds to your aura. I don't know about you but when I got my heels on, I feel sexy, confident, like nobody can get in my way and my man has said to me that he loves the way I stand in my heels, it does it for him.

So, girls save the Uggs  and flats for cinema dates with your girl friends.

2. "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach". You've all heard it, so better believe it bitches! Now, I want you to understand something. You may know how to cook pasta 18 different ways but is that relevant? Maybe!! The key here is- learn to cook what your man LOVES to eat. You know how to cook what you like, but you gotta learn to cook what he likes. What he loves. Obviously, it's nice to go out to eat once in a while but every man's dream is that sexy smart girl who throws it down in the kitchen WELL!! So, mamas, learn what your man loves to eat, how he likes it and get used to cooking for him without him asking. He would appreciate you cooking Pounded Yam and White Soup for lunch as opposed to spending £250 pounds on some oriental meal you can't pronounce. That's if he likes white soup. 

Remember, you gotta learn his favorite. (Do the washing up after....haha)

3. Take a keen interest in his life, work and hobbies. Now, a way to make your man feel good is when you show him you listen to him and you're interested in his other life affairs. If your man is a producer or in the entertainment industry, learn something about the business, get involved. If your man is a die hard Arsenal fan, girl try and keep up!! Sit with him while he watches the game. You don't have to go all "Go Arsenal, Man U are wankers" (Even though true). You don't have to do that, just join him in his support. If he's gonna have the guys over to watch the game, automatically you think "Bummer, I'm gonna leave you guys here then"....Er, NAH!! That's one less day you spend with your man. So, NO!! Stay around, fetch them drinks(as proud as we ladies are, we have to submit to the man sometimes and take on the role as house wife and hostess. Sometimes, you should do the unthinkable for your man. When you got have your own ladies night too, your man should be man enough and caring enough, to serve you guys and maybe even do the dishes after. SERIOUSLY!! Love makes you do crazy things and a lasting relationship means you're committing to these things baby..) and stick by your man when his team is losing and celebrate with him every time they score. A goal = a kiss. Important thing to note is, do not go crazy on it. 

4. Independence. You need to have your own life, your own friends and most importantly, your own MONEY!! Okay, here is where I feel very accomplished (I ooze independence, ladies). I have a couple of friends that can never ever spend a dime on their man. They expect him to pick up everything and I mean everything. It really does disgust me. It's like what? Does he earn a living for you? Gosh, there is nothing more annoying than a dependent woman. And there is nothing sexier than a woman that can take care of herself. Show your man that you want him BUT you do NOT need him. He's a choice not a necessity. Don't stick to him like glue. ALWAYS make time for the girls, ALWAYS do!! Because, when he's not around/when he leaves, you will suddenly have all the time in the world for them and you will regret all the times you stood them up. Pay your own bills, and sometimes, it's nice for the man to hear you say "It's cool, I got it, I got it". This way you ooze this independence, power, sexiness and it makes him want to do more for you.

5. Now, you fall in love with someone for their personality and the way they are but at first sight, what draws you to them is their external appearance. I.E when he saw you he said "Damnnn that chick is fine". Well girls, that day he met you, you were 65kg, 5'8, you had your human hair extensions in and girl, you looked fly. But now, you weigh 87kg, your hair looks like a mop, you don't wear any make up and you look like his grand mother's best friend. Yes love, don't get too comfortable. He loves you, but he also needs to stay attracted to you so his eyes don't wander outside for shallow reasons. So, show him that he's got the best thing he can find out there, in here already. WORK IT BABY!!

My First Blog! Yipeeeee

Good Morning Lovelies,

Just a quick introduction.

A lot of us are at this point in our lives where we are either, single and looking, starting up new relationships, or having been in a lasting relationship. Which ever situation you find yourself in, there is a lot of excitement and joy BUT this comes with frustration.

For the record, I am currently in a serious relationship (details shall be revealed as we go on). And I will admit that, I get so frustrated even though I love my boy friend to bits. This blog is basically an outlet for me to release my frustration.

I also get joy and a sense of fulfillment from helping other people, sharing my experiences with them and I have been told that I give damn good advice.

So, we will cover a vast amount of topics here and I hope to get lots of questions and suggestions from you. I will encourage you to send in as many questions as you want, and also if you have a desired topic you want to discuss, let me know.

This is written by a lady but I have and will get opinions from several guys and lasses too. This information would be of benefit to both sexes.

So, ENJOY!!!