Many young people are unaware that the decisions we make right now will determine our fates in a couple of years. Your choice of Uni, your final degree classification, where you work, the friends you keep, the people you date/dated, the amount of people you have dated and so on.
I have a brother and many male cousins and I know the amount of scrutiny their female choices get. Once I hear that the lady in question is a bit too popular with the boys, I immediately inform my cousin to disconnect all ties with her. And this is what we all would go through in a few years I believe. I would not want to eat the meat that I have watched so many people nibble on. No, that's growse. And I believe it's this same principle most men apply when looking for a wife. I have spoken to many men and women and I've come up with a few theories.
Men, please do NOT date the following women. Ladies, if you fall into these categories, please change!!
1. She's dated so many people you know. It's hard for a man to picture a future with a lady he knows has been around the block. It's just a turn off. Your woman is supposed to be your pride and joy, but when she's on your arm and you walk into a room and more than one other person in that little room has been with her, it's such a difficult thing to bear. Most guys after that, lose any interest in planning a future with you.
2. Women who jump from one relationship to the next, with no time in between. I always tell my cousins to be wary of women who always seem to be in relationships. I don't think it is physically possible to date someone for a long time, and two weeks after splitting up, you find a new beau. I think that women who do this are very needy and why can't you stand on your own two feet for a change? Do you need a man to complete you? There definitely is a problem with you. And how can you get over someone so quick? Men, I assure you that while you are with a woman who falls into this category, she definitely has other men lurking around as "Back-up", incase things don't work out between you two.
3. If she gives it up to soon. This is something that a lot of responsible men agreed with. If a lady lets you get so physically intimate with her even before you are official, there's no need to pursue a relationship with her. This is one mistake ladies make all the time. You like him, he likes you and so you feel it is necessary to let things escalate physically even before you have established your relationship status. How smart. You've just made it easier for him. Ken met Linda and they liked each other. He wasn't sure if he wanted to pursue a serious relationship with her or not. Before he made up his mind, Linda slept with him. And that was it for him. He didn't need to do more. He already got to the top of the mountain without any effort. He said that, if it was so easy for her to let him that close in such a short while, she must be like this with all other guys, and he couldn't begin to imagine how many other men she had been with. He can't bear the thought of calling someone who doesn't value herself, his girl friend/wife. Ken said that between the ages of 17 and 24 (give or take 3 years), men are at this stage where all they want is intimacy and they would do all sorts to achieve that, even making someone they don't really care about, their "girl friend". He said that he could have made Linda his girl friend, but he already achieved that intimacy without that, so there was no need.
So, ladies before you get physically intimate with someone, get to know them very well,establish a proper relationship and then you can consider that. Otherwise, there's no chase for him and you've cheapened yourself. I've heard lame excuses from girls as to why they do this. Please please, you don't use physically intimacy to "secure" or "seal" a relationship. Stop deceiving yourself girl.
So, men please run away from such women because I've got loads and loads of young, responsible, respectable women that you would be proud to know. And there are many more out there.
Ladies, if you are not ready for marriage, do not jump from man to man or bed to bed. You are reducing your bride price. If you continue this way, there may not be a need for a bride price because you would be left on the shelf. If you have any hopes of being married to a nice responsible man, act responsible and do not cheapen yourself. If you find that you are already guilty of this, stop now and repent. Change your old ways. People may never forget what you did in the past, or who you did but if you stay away from the lime light and make wise choices, even those who hate you may admit that you have changed. This could increase your chances of getting hitched. If you know that the man you like, isn't good for you or isn't someone you could take home to the parents, ditch him and move on. Do not waste your time, effort and emotions on him. You would further reduce your bride price and add another person to your ever growing list of exes. Wait and wait, keep waiting even if it takes 50 years. Just keep waiting for that special man that will make an honest woman of you. You do not need a man to complete you while you are waiting, so enjoy your youth, because very soon, it will be over.
Do you agree or disagree?
Tell the Relationship Doctor what you think.
Ciao
xxx
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