Monica had been with her man 4 years when she discovered that for the last 2 years of their "blissful" relationship, Chandler had been seeing another woman. The man she had worked hard to get and keep, had been cheating on her all this time and she didn't know it? Wow!! This is a subject that scares me because believe it or not, I have NEVER had the experience of a cheating boy friend. And I pray I never will. I don't know if this is just a coincidence, or if I have been doing the right things. Who knows? But yes, Chandler had been cheating on Monica for the past two years. She found out and she obviously left him.
I was talking to my man the other day when I recalled the story. And I said to him WHY? This is what my man said "After two years, she probably got too comfortable. She obviously thought, they were going to get married and she had her man and therefore she didn't need to do any thing else". Trey, said to me that this is usually the case. And then I asked him, what is getting too comfortable?
1. Not making an effort anymore. Your make up bag hasn't been opened in years, you do not dress up for your man anymore, you have chucked the heels and resorted to nike trainers, your hair always is a hot mess. All, he can hold on to is memories of you when you first met. Girls, as much as we hate to admit, human beings are all somewhat shallow. Men especially. They work with visuals and you have to stimulate their minds through their eyes. Give him something good/exciting to look at. Referring back to my other blog, How he met you is indeed how he wants to keep you. Don't let yourself go because you think you've bagged him. Eat right, exercise to keep your mind and body in shape and form. When you are out, put on your make up, get your hair did, get out those red hot heels, your tiny black dress. Make him smile with excitement when he sees you. Show him that you still got IT!! All those things, he said he liked when he met you, don't neglect them. Act like everyday with him, is your first date. Because men notice all these things, the other night, I was complaining to my man that he doesn't pay me any compliments and he told me that, if he didn't find me attractive, he would not be here. He said he notices everything from my nails, to my hair to my eye brows. I was shocked, because he isn't vocal about these things. And he once said that every time he sees me, I look good, even without my make up. So, yes ladies. Whenever I see my man, I put in the extra effort, to look good. You should too. Let's start from the top. Your hair, should be done up nicely. It should look, feel and smell nice. Your face should be well taken care of. Put on a bit of make up, look natural but glorious. Make sure your eye brows are shaped up nicely. Clean the wax out of your ears and make sure you brush your teeth very well, we don't want no stains, floss and use a very good mouthwash. Always keep your breath in check. Underwear must always be clean. Make sure it smells fresh, looks sexy and feels even sexier. Ladies, if your underwear comes off, please please, make sure you are clean shaven under your arms, your feminine area, and your legs. Your finger nails and toe nails, should be clean, fresh and painted nicely. Lotion all of your body and keep the whole body toned and looking beautiful. And, on top of it all, slip into somethings comfortable but sexy and show your man that he's got the best diamond out there.
2) When you met him, the first kiss was nice, slow and then it grew to being lovely, passionate, wild and then you explored other avenues. You are here today because God put your parents together, they became one and had you. But before this, they had sex. Sex is an evolutionary behaviour. We do this in order to procreate. But while you are not married, the motive of sex is for intimacy, closeness, pleasure and satisfaction. Some, choose to indulge, others don't. When you are with someone, you share personal things with them that you don't share with anyone else. Be it, emotionally or physically. It is a normal thing to be attracted to your partner and to act on it. Kissing, holding, cuddling, fondling and so on. When you first meet, your physical relationship with your man is mind blowing, it's exciting, it's fresh and something new every time. Many people dread getting married because they can't imagine being intimate with just one person for the rest of their lives. It is a crazy thing to fathom. Many believe it is silly, they regards it as a deprivation experiment and they can't deal with the boredom. My point here is, after 6 months of being with your man, you think you've done it all and you go into repeat mode. Your physical relationship becomes monotonous. You are not as involved as you used to. You become very idle and take on a lazy approach. It is this behaviour that makes men dread the thought of being married. After all, you've only been together 6 months and the physical intimacy is already that boring. You bore him. How do you expect him, to now picture a marriage with you? You need to keep him active, happy. You need to keep him jolly. Try new things every time, even if it is just a different way of kissing, keep it interesting. You don't have discussions about the same thing every day do you? So, why are you letting your physical relationship suffer this fate? Satisfy your man, give him more than enough. So, he has no drive left to wander outside even if his life depended on it. Keep things interesting, exciting and fun in the bedroom. ALWAYS do this!! Surprise him all the time with new underwear, new suggestions and other things. Don't become a lazy old woman. It will keep your chemistry going and it will keep you guys closer as a couple and besides it is healthy. The way his heart used to pace when you first kissed, is the way it should beat in anticipation when you are about to get intimate.
So, ladies that's it. Those are the two things Trey regards as getting too comfortable, which in turn can lead your man astray. Shallow? Yes, I thought so but guess what? Men don't cheat because they are looking for a good mind or an intellectual person to discuss with, NO!! They cheat for shallow reasons most of the time, so there it is ladies. Use these tools wisely.
Note: All the characters I use in my blog are actually real people, but for confidentiality and anonymity, their names are changed.
Any questions, stories or suggestions... Please feel free to leave a comment
Ciao
xx
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