Independent woman

Hello lovelies,

My previous post got me a bit angry you know? I really got emotional when I got to the end.

Number 4 was about being an independent woman. having your own life, your own friends and your own money!! 

Let's tackle the 2nd. Yes, we've all had that friend who, meets this new guy and all of a sudden we do not exist again. They disappear into thin air and neglect everyone. In her world, only him exists. Now, this happens a lot. You're trying to get to know someone, you're overwhelmed by everything and so you shut everyone out. I understand, because I have done it as well. You should NOT do this, and do not entertain such behaviour from your girl friends either. When you meet a new guy, you feel pressured to rush everything and get to know him in 2 minutes. That's one of the mistakes I made with my man. From the day we met, we saw each other EVERY DAY!! YES, I mean it! This gave no room for friendship or real bonding. If you meet a guy, you like him, no problem. He asks you on the first date, go and wait for sometime to meet him again. Wait till he asks you and make sure you get a breather in between, dates. So, you can still hang out with your friends and tell them what every date is like. This way, you also get to know them better but slower, which is good in the long run. And, you do not make your friends feel like you're shutting them out. When you feel, the introduction process is over, introduce him to your friends, hang out with the man and your friends, so they feel sort of "involved" in a good way. And always keep it like that. There are some weekends you wanna chill with him, let your girls know in advance that you will be with him that weekend. And make up for it, before and after- by giving them all the juicy details over mojitos. NEVER disappear with him. Always let them know, and because you still spend time with them and because they've hung out with him, they would be awfully pleased. 

Remember, always keep things in check. Boy friend time, time with the girl friends and time with BOTH!!

The other thing I wish to address is having your own money. This is the most annoying thing for me in relationships. I have one particular friend that is so guilty of this. She can never ever take her man out. She, always expects him to pay for everything. It is so sad. Some girls look up to men as an outlet for pocket money and this is ridiculous. It is so disgusting and I just shake my head in disappointment. I have not been brought up to believe in such BS!! The latest craze is asking your man to buy you HAIR??? And designer bags! WOW! Can girls get any cheaper? I can't deny that, I do love to be spoilt but I do NOT expect my man to do this all the time. Sometimes, I take my man out and pay for everything. I do that!! I do not ask or expect him to give me money or any material thing. That is downright cheap. When it is my birthday, Valentines Day, our anniversary, Christmas, I expect him to spoil me like he is Santa and I'm the cutest kid on the block. Yes, I do expect him to pay for our dates but at least 3 out of 10 times, I feel I should get the bill. I come from a background of strong and Independent women, so expect nothing less. If not for, me wanting him to retain his role as the man in our relationship, I could get the bill 10 out of 10 times. 

My independence helps my relationship so much because my man knows I love him and I am not in it for the wrong reasons and he knows that I am not moved by material things. So, he trusts me a lot. If you have a materialistic girl friend, trust me guys, you are not the only one spoiling her. I have witnessed my friends collecting cash from different men so they can buy silly things. These girls have boy friends but, for the greed in their heart and their inability to stand on their own two feet as strong independent women, they trick all sorts of men to give them. Yes guys, I wander what they do for these men in return for the money. I wander!!

Ladies, for a change, treat your man. Take him to dinner, get the bill, go for drinks, get the bill. Spend a day at the spa and pay for it. SHOCK him and TREAT him.

Guys, if you find that you happened to end up with a not so independent lady, give her a chance to change your view. Drop subtle cues about how independent women turn you on. E.g, Travis took his girl friend to this expensive restaurant for a five course meal and when he went to the loo and back, she already got the bill and paid. Wow, Trav is a lucky man. If she doesn't get it. Discuss it with her, tell her that you would also like to be treated sometimes. If she still doesn't fix up, take her out less, much less. Lol. If you find, she's a completely reliant and dependent girl, dump her ass and find you a reaaal woman. I can help you. In the near future, I will be setting up a free match making service.