DEPRESSED? CONFUSED? SUICIDAL?

Hi guys,

I know it's been absolute ages since i blogged. Almost 2 years now. I will be honest, I have come back to the blog a few times to read my posts and just laugh. But today I've been brought back because of my own personal trouble. I don't think I have ever in my life been this depressed/sad. I really feel suicidal and like there's nothing left to live for. The only thing keeping me from killing myself is the fear of going to hell..Otherwise, I'm pretty much there. I am exhausted with school matters. I fear I am not doing well and i am finding it tough and super demanding. I prayed and prayed for this opportunity, now i got it and it makes me feel depressed. This is my worry with life. Maybe when I do eventually get the things I want, I will also be depressed? The health of my parents also bothers me immensely and the fact that they are growing old. God please, if there is one thing I ask, it's for you to heal them! Heal them completely and give them a new lease on life, make them happy, healthy and fulfilled and keep them on Your earth for many more years to come. Let them see all their grandchildren, great grand children etc. I worry about my health as well. Migraines, nausea every time. What about the fact that I am single, alone, caught in an endless battle with my ex-boyfriend who I know does not deserve me. He put me through hell on earth. From never making me feel wanted, to physically, emotionally and verbally abusing me, to letting his family members torment me and never stepping in, to letting me be the man in the relationship. I don't think anybody but God knows how much I am hurting on the inside. This was a man I gave two years of my life only to be crushed and disappointed. He even betrayed me in our time together. But that's the thing about love. True love. No matter how hurt and displaced you are, you forever lace hope, faith and belief in the other person. This is my situation. God, I ask you right now for my liberty! I ask you for my freedom from this bondage and this relationship right now and forever more. What about the fact that I have no real group of friends? Wherever I hang out, I feel like a +1. I feel like I'm treading on egg shells and just hanging on to people in different friendship groups, but having none myself. What about the fact that the people i once called my best friends have all deserted me? Is this my fault? Am I a bad person? Sometimes I think I am. I need an overhaul. A new life, a new change and a new beginning. Lord bring me one. My friends have good reliant friends, they have boyfriends, fiancés, husbands, good jobs, distinctions in their academics. And i stand here. A failed person in everything? You know what, devil? You are a liar! A bloody liar! Everyday, I will thank God for what I have! Freedom, air, food, shelter, both my living parents, my sister, brothers, my family, my health, my education and most of all my future. Because I know that the best is definitely yet to come. AMEN!! God please, let's have a fresh start and make changes in my life. I need this so bad. I do not want to be depressed or suicidal. I want to be happy, full of praise and I want to testify, Lord. PLEASE!!! I am thankful for all you have done so far and i say this now, I need a break. I want to testify. I want to love school. I want to progress and excel beyond all my classmates in my academics. I want You to announce my career, as I move back, declare that an excellent job is waiting for me with wonderful working conditions, perks and pay. One that shall make all my detractors and friends alike know that You are God in my life. One that I shall be genuinely happy with. Father also announce my events specialist/PR consultancy business. Jesus, let me be the key player in my field in the whole of Nigeria and Africa. I declare this IJN. AMEN. I also declare, Lord that by the end of this year 2012, I shall be happily engaged to the spouse of my covenant and my sister shall be happily married. Amen. Father I declare that next year, my family and friends shall be attending my wedding. I also declare that I shall be a holder of a Master's in Public Relations (Distinction). AMEN! Lord, I also declare spiritual growth, financial and material growth. All those things that bother me such as my horrible boy like figure shall be a thing of the past, my lack of money and savings shall be in the past. But you Lord would have provided/will continue to provide all that I need and desire. AMEN. My parents shall also be fully healed and well. I shall be the head in everything and I shall never envy because God will always provide mine i accordance to His will. It is well with me, it is well with my family and it is well with all that concerns me in Jesus' Mighty Name I pray. AMEN

"Dating" a married/committed man??

Hello my lovelies,

Relationship doctor is feeling very nice today and thought to bring you another blog today. This time, addressing the ladies who are bold enough to date a man who already got a woman. Beware, that this blog contains somewhat strong language and some other shocking things. This topic is very dear to Relationship Doctor's heart.

Dating a committed or married man? This is something I have never done because my man cheating on me is my worst fear, so I have never ever though of getting involved with someone who was in a relationship. I have some friends who do enjoy such wickedness. Rachel likes Ben and Ben has a girl friend. However, Rachel doesn't hesitate to pursue a "relationship" with him. How stupid! If a man has a girl friend and he is "dating" you, do not deceive yourself ladies. You are the other woman. The person he goes to for pleasure and that is it. You have cheapened yourself to an ultimate low. Why do you think this man would leave his girl friend for you? And if he does, I assure you he would do the same thing to you. And you better not complain. What goes around comes around, and it will bite you in the ass a hundred times harder. Girls that feel the need to chase after married/committed men are nothing but trifling, conniving, needy, heartless, stupid ass BITCHES!! Yes, I said it and that is what you are. And all he is doing is using you and before you know it, you will be DUMPED!! And for those of you, who not only chase after taken men, but chase your friend's men. Any woman who feels the need to lust after her friend's man is NOT a woman and you are not a man or a dog. You are a demonic creature hidden in a woman's exterior. And guess what? No man will ever take you seriously. Believe that!! I'm sure you think I am mean but believe me, I am a very nice lady. I just do not entertain foolery and nonsense!! If a girl I knew tried to steal my man, I promise you that would be the last thing she does. She would be shot dead!! Don't try me!! Don't even attempt to. I am very passionate about this issue. And I do not take BS from anyone, and I most definitely will not take such nonsense from a "friend". 

If you are lucky enough to meet a man who marries you, that man will be taken from you. You will not know peace in your relationship or marriage. Because, you haunted other women and now it is your turn, to receive. 

"I can never take the other woman seriously"....This is a quote from not one but several men. Ladies, do the math. Do not chase after a man that's taken because he will never take you seriously. If you don't like him and you are just doing it for shallow or materialistic reasons, then good luck to you. When it is time for you to settle down and find your own man, I wonder how many good men would look twice at you.

Note: Go after my man, and you will end up 6 feet under, and that's me being nice. 

Change your ways Bitches

Ciao 

xxx

This is for the single ladies and gentlemen!!

I'm at this stage where a lot of my friends are talking about marriage, marriage and more marriage. It's a bit frustrating sometimes but I guess we are at the point where we really should be thinking about marriage, after all, it only is a few years away. I've also got another bunch of friends who think nothing about marriage or about the near future. 

Many young people are unaware that the decisions we make right now will determine our fates in a couple of years. Your choice of Uni, your final degree classification, where you work, the friends you keep, the people you date/dated, the amount of people you have dated and so on.

I have a brother and many male cousins and I know the amount of scrutiny their female choices get. Once I hear that the lady in question is a bit too popular with the boys, I immediately inform my cousin to disconnect all ties with her. And this is what we all would go through in a few years I believe. I would not want to eat the meat that I have watched so many people nibble on. No, that's growse. And I believe it's this same principle most men apply when looking for a wife. I have spoken to many men and women and I've come up with a few theories.

Men, please do NOT date the following women. Ladies, if you fall into these categories, please change!!

1. She's dated so many people you know. It's hard for a man to picture a future with a lady he knows has been around the block. It's just a turn off. Your woman is supposed to be your pride and joy, but when she's on your arm and you walk into a room and more than one other person in that little room has been with her, it's such a difficult thing to bear. Most guys after that, lose any interest in planning a future with you.

2. Women who jump from one relationship to the next, with no time in between. I always tell my cousins to be wary of women who always seem to be in relationships. I don't think it is physically possible to date someone for a long time, and two weeks after splitting up, you find a new beau. I think that women who do this are very needy and why can't you stand on your own two feet for a change? Do you need a man to complete you? There definitely is a problem with you. And how can you get over someone so quick? Men, I assure you that while you are with a woman who falls into this category, she definitely has other men lurking around as "Back-up", incase things don't work out between you two.

3. If she gives it up to soon. This is something that a lot of responsible men agreed with. If a lady lets you get so physically intimate with her even before you are official, there's no need to pursue a relationship with her. This is one mistake ladies make all the time. You like him, he likes you and so you feel it is necessary to let things escalate physically even before you have established your relationship status. How smart. You've just made it easier for him. Ken met Linda and they liked each other. He wasn't sure if he wanted to pursue a serious relationship with her or not. Before he made up his mind, Linda slept with him. And that was it for him. He didn't need to do more. He already got to the top of the mountain without any effort. He said that, if it was so easy for her to let him that close in such a short while, she must be like this with all other guys, and he couldn't begin to imagine how many other men she had been with. He can't bear the thought of calling someone who doesn't value herself, his girl friend/wife. Ken said that between the ages of 17 and 24 (give or take 3 years), men are at this stage where all they want is intimacy and they would do all sorts to achieve that, even making someone they don't really care about, their "girl friend". He said that he could have made Linda his girl friend, but he already achieved that intimacy without that, so there was no need. 

So, ladies before you get physically intimate with someone, get to know them very well,establish a proper relationship and then you can consider that. Otherwise, there's no chase for him and you've cheapened yourself. I've heard lame excuses from girls as to why they do this. Please please, you don't use physically intimacy to "secure" or "seal" a relationship. Stop deceiving yourself girl.

So, men please run away from such women because I've got loads and  loads of young, responsible, respectable women that you would be proud to know. And there are many more out there. 

Ladies, if you are not ready for marriage, do not jump from man to man or bed to bed. You are reducing your bride price. If you continue this way, there may not be a need for a bride price because you would be left on the shelf. If you have any hopes of being married to a nice responsible man, act responsible and do not cheapen yourself. If you find that you are already guilty of this, stop now and repent. Change your old ways. People may never forget what you did in the past, or who you did but if you stay away from the lime light and make wise choices, even those who hate you may admit that you have changed. This could increase your chances of getting hitched. If you know that the man you like, isn't good for you or isn't someone you could take home to the parents, ditch him and move on. Do not waste your time, effort and emotions on him. You would further reduce your bride price and add another person to your ever growing list of exes. Wait and wait, keep waiting even if it takes 50 years. Just keep waiting for that special man that will make an honest woman of you. You do not need a man to complete you while you are waiting, so enjoy your youth, because very soon, it will be over. 

Do you agree or disagree?

Tell the Relationship Doctor what you think.

Ciao 

xxx

Introducing Natalie

She was clubbing in Hollywood with her brother and his friends when the dj stopped the music and called out the registration number of her BMW. She goes out to where she parked it. Right in front of the club. And she asks the Security, what the problem is and she is told that the owner of the club, parks his car there usually and she needs to move it. She is outraged. As she gets into the car, the suavest guy she has ever set her eyes upon says to security "Take the keys and park it, and bring it to me when you are done". She immediately realizes that this fine ass man owns the club. She wants to say something to him but before she can, he notices her in the corner of his eye and looks like he's seen a ghost! I wander why he looks stunned. Well the feeling is mutual, he has never seen anything look so beautiful and perfect, so innocent but yet so so sexy. He asks the security man, to look for somewhere else to park the car and when the night is over, he should bring the car back. He then looks at Natalie and introduces himself. "Hi, I'm Jay, you don't need to move your car". 

Natalie smiles, gets out of the car, shuts the door and walks away. 

At this point, Jay is intrigued! He goes up to her and apologizes for the little inconvenience he caused and asks for a name. Introduction over. Here are the facts:

Nat is over on holiday from London. She's only 17, about to start upper sixth. She drives that Beamer because her dad brings a new meaning to RICH!! Jay is a 21 year old driven guy with a degree in Business Management, which he copped a year ago. He owns the club and has several others developing as well as a growing chain of restaurants in Hollywood. Basically, to keep things short, he is MADE!!

One thing leads to another and she is spending the rest of her stay in holiday being wined and dined by this rich bachelor. At the end of it, they are dating and he escorts her back to England. He stays for a week to meet her parents and returns to Hollywood.

Is that the last we hear from Jay? No? He sends her a first class ticket to see him every other weekend and he makes it his duty to visit her in London one week a month. Do, the math baby. They see each other three weekends a month. 

This relationship keeps growing stronger and stronger. Nat, passes her A levels and has an offer from a University. She is sorted!! Jay, has launched several clubs in Hollywood and Miami, he's also opened a chain of restaurants. Everything is going well for them. They see each other often and they love each other.

Nat seems to be the perfect girl and Jay is even more perfect. They met in July 2006. Fast forward to 2010. Do you think they are still together? What's been going on for the last 31/2 years? Find out soon..... When Natalie returns

Ciao

xxx

You are the trophy and he is just another athlete in the race.

Many of my friends are in serious relationships yet many are very much single. Some are so single that they've never had boy friends. Yes, I too find it very intriguing. And a small fraction of my friends have a ring on their finger, while some have already bitten the bullet. I know many single girls who actually pray for a boy friend and it really does make me laugh. Is a man some sort of accessory or necessity? Or a life support machine? I'm not sure these days. When I was single, I always got the "Do you have a boyfriend". When I say no, it's followed by a "Why not"? Now, I know that some lame ass men use this line to lure you into a conversation convincing you that they are God's gift to the female species. BUT when a lady says WHY? It really makes my blood boil. Is a boy friend like a degree or a bra? 

Why are women so needy? Why do girls hate being single, so bad? They go to all lengths to meet men, and play all sorts of games and do all sorts of ridiculous things in attempt to bag a man. I need to share some of the most pathetic things I've come across. Emma and I went out to a bar. Some male figures were misbehaving and acting extremely improper. She spent the whole morning after the outing, insulting this particular individual-Joe. He happened to be 1. One of the guys misbehaving, 2. A friend of mine. A few hours later, Emma heads back home and I log into Facebook and on my news feed, I see- Emma and Joe are now friends. It's very clear to me that she added him. A few weeks on, she's sending me messages about how they have been seeing each other but it isn't official. Bear in mind that Joe has a girl friend and he's interested in two of my other friends. I give her the bad news but I later find out she's still ON IT like a bonnet!! How desperate can you get? You see someone, and then add them on Facebook and you start sending him messages? You call yourself a woman? If a man did this, I wouldn't be surprised but I would not tolerate or even entertain such nonsense from a man, how much more you a lady? No wonder the guy could not commit to you!

Another thing that makes my skin crawl is when single girls are persistently asking you to hook them up with someone. Not, just you but the whole of their Facebook, your Facebook, your grand mother's twitter knows that she is desperately looking for a man. Why? What sort of foolishness and desperateness is that? Do you think a man will sought after you if he knows the amount of time and effort you are spending on trying to get a man? It is such an unattractive quality.

Why do women behave like this? Do you need a man to complete you? Of course not! One thing, I have slowly but eventually learned in this life is that WOMEN are the prize. Back in my younger days, my single friends and I would discuss tactics to find a boy friend. It's sounds so sad and silly when I think back but we always wanted to possess a man. It was like a chase, and when we got him, we were happy! Satisfied and felt accomplished!! WHY? Ladies, it is the other way round. It should be. That guy you like is just another athlete in the race. And guess what? The trophy is YOU darling!! So, do not go about chasing and scrambling all corners of the earth for a man. YOU are the trophy, you are the prize, the diamond in the rough. And any man out there, is just another athlete in the race that should do his best to win the race. Now, your duty as the trophy is to sit there, look good, carry yourself with so much confidence and poise, and reflect that outer beauty on the inside. Show that gold is not just on the exterior, it goes right through you. You are smart, you are extremely talented, you are funny, and you have the degree to prove your intelligence. Obviously, nobody is going to race for a trophy that they can't see. So, while you shouldn't go chasing after men, do not hide yourself in your wardrobe. We need to see this personality and wittiness you possess. Socialize more, go out with the girls more often. Meet new people at work, Uni, at a bar, at Church, where ever you go, keep a smile on your face, look approachable, presentable and hold a good conversation at all times. Baby girl, those men will be reeling in, in no time. 

Remember, you are the Trophy and he is just another athlete in the race.

Ciao 

xxx

UPDATES

Hello my lovelies,

Just a quick one to keep you in check.

I do realise I haven't specifically addressed the singles out there neither have I addressed the men. So, my next few posts will specifically be directed towards these people.

I am also going to introduce a character of mine to you. She goes by the name of Natalie..

Don't forget, to drop me all your questions, suggestions and objections. 

 

Follow me and share this blog with everyone you know.

Bye my dears

Ciao

xxx

SIX ways to know if your man is in love with you

Relationship doctor brought you "5 ways to keep your man FOREVER". Now, just to be sure that things are in check, Relationship Doctor is giving you more. 6 ways to know if he is really into you. Let's go ladies.

1. When you're sleeping, and you just happen to wake up, he is staring at you. If he can just lie there and watch you sleep, 9 times out of 10, that's a tell tale sign that he is in love with you. You know that feeling when you buy something new and it's sitting still, and you just look at it like My God, I love this new bag. You're in awe that you could own such a glorious item. Guess what ladies? It's the same thing men do when they watch you sleep. 

2. When he looks into your eyes, he sees a future with you. Everything about his future involves you. Whatever plans he makes, involves You!! He already talks to you about the future, he has mentioned marriage many times, and he sees himself with you in the very far future. That is love and commitment mamas.

3. He has introduced you to everyone under the sun. Everyone in his family, his friends, his pets, his work colleagues, everyone knows who you are. Even if, they haven't met you YET, they have heard so much about you from him. A friend of mine- Tyra, had been with her man- Seb for a long time. It was her birthday and her family members and friends were present. I noticed she hadn't introduced Seb to the family and I asked why and she said she wouldn't like to introduce him to the parents and a few months later, they are not together anymore. Do you know what I'm getting at here? Even though she was with Seb for so long, she knew that there was no future. Seb was NOT in Tyra's future and therefore, she wasn't going to waste her time and effort introducing him to her family when she knew he would never be a part of her family. Men follow this same pattern. If the person is not going to be there in the future, why waste time introducing them to the family? So, if your man has introduced you to all his friends, brothers, sisters, parents and everyone else in between, girl, you got yourself a winner!

4. When he leaves you, he misses you immediately. You know he's just left your house, but he's already calling you and sending you sweet messages, telling you how much he misses you and can't wait to see you. That is love!!

5. When you are so sick and you can't even move, he comes over and attends to your every need. That is very important. Us ladies, don't even do this for our girl friends sometimes, so when your man is so concerned when you're ill and he's there right away, taking care of you, you know he loves you girl.

6. Finally, this is the Killer!! This is how you differentiate between if he is really in love with you or if you're just a jump off. When you are on your period and you can't get physically intimate with your man, he still wants to come over. Ladies, you know how we are when it's that time of the month. We get moody, crazy and we are seriously PMSing. If your man is man enough to ignore all these things and he still wants to come over, see you and spend some time with you, you know he is madly in love with you.

(Let me know what you think ladies and men too. This is from real men and many women agreed with it. If you got anything to add, please do.)

Note: All the characters I use in my blog are actually real people, but for confidentiality and anonymity, their names are changed. 

UPDATES

Just a quick one people!!

Just to let you know that I love writing these blogs and I enjoy the numerous questions, suggestions and objections! 

So, please leave a comment about anything at all. If you need relationship advice, or you would like me to cover a particular topic, please do let me know. 

Note: All the characters I use in my blog are actually real people, but for confidentiality and anonymity, their names are changed. 

Anything whatsoever,

Relationship Doctor is here to improve your 2010!!

Ciao